Best Ways to Build Your Confidence As a Mom

If you search “parenting books” on Amazon, more than 50,000 results come up. That’s a whole lot of us who have no idea what we’re doing! When my kids were babies I was constantly researching sleep training, constipation, and how high their fever can be before one starts panicking. Then I had a good run of at least 2 years where I thought I knew what I was doing. I was lulled into a false sense of security and that was my mistake, I got cocky.

The universe didn’t appreciate my know-it-all attitude and the next thing I know my kids are at the age where we’re navigating friend issues, social media, and screen time, and attempting to help with 4th-grade math. How are you supposed to remain confident in your parenting when it’s ALL NEW, ALL THE TIME? Let’s discuss how we can gain newfound confidence, keep our remaining confidence, and instill confidence in other moms no matter what stage your kids are at.

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mom friends

You need them. Instead of asking what shade of green is ok for poop, I’m now asking how many hours of Roblox do your kids play? It’s extremely helpful to have mom friends when trying to gauge what’s typical. They always say to not compare your kids to other kids, but comparing is how you know if your kid is “normal” or not. I was convinced my daughter was so behind in walking because the son of my only mom friend started walking early. I was so relieved when I walked into a “Mommy and Me” class and most of the toddlers were crawling. Once you realize your kid is just like everyone else’s your confidence will begin to soar and for that, you need a solid and honest group of mom friends who aren’t afraid to admit their kid plays hours of Roblox and you’re not the only mom who allows it. Phew!

RELATED BLOG POST “Easy Ways to Meet Mom Friends”

If it’s not broke, don’t fix it

There is such a thing as TOO much information. Especially now with Pinterest and all the forms of social media, it can be overwhelming to find a clear answer to any parenting question. You have to do what works for your family though even though some are against it. Maybe you don’t eat dinner altogether, even though many parenting resources advocate for this nightly routine. Maybe you or your partner work the third shift, and this just isn’t realistic for you. As long as you are getting that relationship strengthening activity somewhere else, it’s ok if your evening looks a little non-traditional.

Our family movie nights almost always feature a movie that is not usually seen as age-appropriate. My 9, 7, and 5 years old are big fans of the Die Hard franchise. (I don’t know, you guys) Chances are though, these non-traditional routines that you have incorporated will probably end up being their favorite memories. Don’t try to fix something that’s not broken just because you read somewhere that you should.

Fake it ’til you make it

I remember the exact moment I realized no other parent knows what they’re doing either. My toddler was incredibly spirited and none of the consequences I was trying were working. When I called my mom and asked her what to do and she just laughed. I always thought my parents knew exactly what to do and automatically knew what consequence went with what behavior. I wanted this elusive pamphlet that it seemed like every other parent had. It was a huge relief when I realized everyone is just making it up as they go.

You are the only mom your kids have, so no one can do it better than you! Next time you put your kid in a time-out but secretly wonder if that’s overkill, or maybe it’s not enough, and are you possibly raising a psychopath (just me?) remember that.

spend quality time with your kids

I know, we’ve all been with our kids for 800 days in a row right now and you broke up 81 arguments this morning and now I have the audacity to tell you to spend MORE time with them?! I’m talking QUALITY time though and I’m sure you’ve noticed the difference between quality and quantity time. Go on an outing. Try something you’ve never done. Take just one of your kids out to have some special one on one time. You’ll see their personalities shine through and have a chance to actually talk to them. You’ll realize that your kids are funny, thoughtful, and insightful beings. It will be such a confidence booster to realize that you LIKE your kids and acknowledge you are doing a GREAT job!

You got this

In this era of social media and instant access to information, it can feel like everyone knows what they’re doing but you. Find a network of moms who are authentic and will help you get through the coming seasons of life. Don’t fret about something in your house being non-traditional. Keep in mind that my preschooler likes “Die Hard” and that should make you feel better about your parenting decisions. We’re all just making it up as we go and trying our best!