EASY AND PRACTICAL SELF-CARE FOR BUSY MOMS

Modern self-care is bullshit, and here’s why.

We all read the articles about self-care. It’s like the new buzz word, especially during Covid. “Make sure you’re practicing self-care!” “Self-care is vital during the pandemic!” But what does that look like? I recently read an article where they outlined some self-care tips and here’s what was included on the list:

• Get that massage you’ve been wanting. Treat yourself!
• Now is the best time for a facial. The winter months can be harsh on the skin, do yours a favor!
• Take a long, relaxing bubble bath. If you exfoliate too, it’s like a mini spa treatment!
• Go for brunch with your best group of girlfriends! Have that Mimosa, girl!

But we see all the reasons that list is absurd, right?

• A massage is a minimum of $60, and that’s only if you found it on Groupon, and not including tip. I love a good massage, don’t get me wrong, but is that really feasible for most women right now?
• I have the same problem with a facial that I do with the massage. Money. And do I want someone that close to my face in a pandemic? Shouldn’t I be limiting that?
• Ok, the bubble bath idea is not the worst one but I do think it’s pretty cliche, and the author could have tried harder. The only bubble bath we have is some bubble gum scented Sponge Bob, but I guess I could give it a try.
• Not every mom has a group of friends. Some mom’s live across the country from their people, some mom’s are raising their only people. If brunch with friends fills your bucket that’s great but again, this is not always an option for moms.

What self care really is

Why are articles and blogs and magazines and brands making it so complicated? It’s literally just taking care of yourself, and that’s going to look different for everyone but I think I have some tips for a pretty great start.

Say no and don’t feel guilty

That’s it. Say no. Do your kids want to play hide and seek for the 14th time this week? Say no, and not because you’re busy, but because you just don’t want to play for the 15th time. Congratulations, you have just practiced self-care.

Say no to your mother in law who’s asking you to make that complicated dessert for Sunday family dinner. The store-bought pie is great. Everyone likes pie.

Say no to signing your kid up for traveling sports. Yes, I know Johnny is very good at basketball (probably not as good as you think) and he enjoys it, but for the next 3 months, you will be stressed out and busy every weekend. Set healthy boundaries and prioritize the entire family’s mental and emotional health, Johnny will probably end up thanking you.

Say no to housework. There will always be laundry, but will Bravo always be having a Real Housewives of Atlanta marathon? Ok, they probably will, but still, sit down and escape into someone else’s bizarre reality for a little bit. This can be as relaxing as a massage, in my opinion.

Little things count and make a difference

Modern self-care has us thinking it doesn’t count unless it’s out of the house, or costs money, or is with other people. I call bullshit.

• Play a game on your phone. I personally love Candy Crush or Words With Friends, but there’s a game for every genre you like. Zone out and enjoy some time for yourself.
• Wake up early and have your cup of coffee while it’s still hot. Watch the news, scroll your phone. You’ll be more prepared and ready for the chaos when your kids wake up.
• Take a nap. If your kids are at school, good for you. I give my littlest a tablet and I lay down. I don’t always fall asleep but there is great power in saying “fuck that to-do list” and slipping under the covers for an hour or so. This is especially helpful if you have a tendency to get anxious, or are just in a stressful season of life. Decompressing for a bit can be incredibly healing and beneficial.

Make chores more fun

I know, I know. This sounds like such a mom thing to say. But hear me out. I love podcasts but don’t often have time to listen to them, so I listen while I’m taking the dogs for a walk. Win-win. When I’m cleaning the kitchen I catch up on the radio talk shows I miss out on, I Heart Radio or Spotify has a lot of them, just search for your local station.

While I’m folding laundry, I watch tv. I got through the first season of Vampire Diaries solely because my kids insist on changing their clothes multiple times a day for no reason.

My husband is perfectly capable of doing the grocery shopping (it would take him all day, but still, he is physically capable of doing it) but I always volunteer for the errands if he’ll stay home and entertain the kids. An hour in the car listening to my music? I may be a 38-year-old mom of 3 but I can still yell “to the window to the wall” like it’s my actual job. A trip to Target unsupervised is like the mom version of an amusement park. I might just smell all the candles and not buy any, who cares, I’M BY MYSELF.

Self care looks different for everyone

What you do to take care of yourself is going to change based on your needs, your family’s needs, and what’s available to you. I live in a cold winter state, so walking the dogs is not always an option. Some states have stricter Covid protocols than others, you might not be able to go to Target whenever you want. It’s not important WHAT you do, but it IS important that you’re mindful about doing something for yourself, whatever that looks like.

CHECK OUT RELATED BLOG POST “KEEP YOUR MOTIVATION AS A STAY AT HOME MOM”

Comment what your favorite self-care routine is (unless it’s a massage or a facial, then no one wants to hear from you) and we can add it to our routines.