You must know this ONE THING before sending your child to kindergarten

I sent my first 2 kids to kindergarten at the “normal” time. They were 5. Having winter birthdays and being on track with their peers, made the decision easy for us. I never had to ponder and weigh the pros and cons of sending them to kindergarten or delaying it. I never thought I’d be that mom arguing with a preschool, insisting my almost 6-year-old was not ready for kindergarten, yet here I was. I held my son back and it was the best parenting decision I’ve ever made.

The Department of Education says a child is ready for Kindergarten if they meet this criteria:

1. Are 5 years old at the start of the school year
2. They have received their childhood screening through the school district
3. They have their medically acceptable immunizations

That’s it. That’s all the guidance you get. But, we as parents, know that is definitely NOT it.

Kindergarten teachers know that’s not it either. Teachers cite social readiness as a bigger factor to consider than academic. Your daughter might know how to read already, but if she can’t sit still and follow directions, kindergarten will be very hard for her. Teachers want to be able to teach children their letters and numbers. If they also have to teach them the basics like how to take turns, it leaves little time for the things they should be learning. These are all skills your child should learn in their preschool, pre-k, or daycare program.

the number one thing you need to know before sending your child to kindergarten

So what do you do when you don’t want to send your 5-year-old, maybe even your 6-year-old to Kindergarten? This is the most important thing you should know about making the decision: YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEND THEM.

Compulsory Education Laws make it so that children do not have to start Kindergarten until they are 7 years old. That means that you can keep your child in their preschool setting another year. It is the cultural norm to send your child to kindergarten when they are 5 or 6 years old, but knowing this law and realizing that YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEND THEM. YOU HAVE OPTIONS. That’s a game-changer and absolutely, the number 1 thing you should know before signing up for kindergarten. This can be absolutely beneficial for the child who needs extra time developing those social or emotional areas. It can be a gift to have that extra year or maturing and confidence building.

retention

When you’re researching your options you will hear a lot about retention. Retention is “holding in place, staying in the current level.” So when you hear the word retention brought up in an education sense, it means to hold back a grade level.

Detractors of retention might cite the studies of New Zealand professor, John Hattie, as their case against it. He’s an education researcher who believes that “no single school intervention is worse than retention.” In my personal experience, he seems to be the go-to information source for preschool directors who might urge you to reconsider your position of delaying kindergarten. John Hattie is an award-winning researcher, educator, and best-selling author. But you know what John Hattie doesn’t know? My son. Or yours.

Your school district might agree with you and you may have all the support you need from them. That was not my experience. I had to fight for something that I just knew with every fiber of my being was the right thing to do. I felt betrayed by a school district that I loved so much. It made me doubt myself and my decision making, but I was confident and informed enough to stand behind it.

education advocates can walk you through this

It is intimidating though, being in a conversation with people who are (possibly) more educated than you, whose career is literally getting kids ready for kindergarten so they must know what they’re talking about, right? They’re throwing out facts that you can’t argue against and your only defense and reasoning is your instinct. If you don’t feel supported by your school district and need more information about your student’s rights, please contact an Educational Advocate. (that’s a real job!)

[RELATED POST The Gift of 22q. Peyton has a chromosomal deletion called 22q. I explore what that looks like for our family.]

The decision to send your 5 or 6-year-old to kindergarten is so personal. No one is able to tell you with 100% certainty that you’re making the right decision EXCEPT YOU. You got this Mama.

How did you know your child was or wasn’t ready for kindergarten? Let me know! Also let me know if you need additional supports and I can try to point you in the right direction. It takes a village!