Modern Motherhood Favors Extroverts

Modern motherhood favors extroverts. Motherhood is filled with a staggering amount of social landmines. There are playgroups to navigate and playdates to coordinate. There are birthday parties to attend and organize, PTA meetings to volunteer for, and so much more. Even in gymnastics, a sport where I just have to drop off, the parents sit and chat. What if you just want to read celebrity gossip on your phone for the 45 minutes your kid is learning cartwheels? Are you the antisocial weirdo in the corner, all because you worked all day and just want a minute to see what Kim or Khloe posted? What if you’re introverted and you don’t partake in these kinds of groups and activities to start with. Is your kid going to miss out all because modern motherhood requires us to sign up for 56 activities? And then also volunteer and support those 56 said activities? I would argue that extroverts just might have it easier.

Meeting other moms

Childhood now, and therefore motherhood now, is filled to the brim with organized activities. Sports, school functions, church groups, and playdates, are all run and organized by parents. It can feel like a popularity contest walking into a PTA meeting. Groups of moms all grouped up by how they know each other. Hockey moms in the corner, the Sunday School teachers will be organizing the bake sale. The gym moms are the only ones dressed in jeans with jewelry on, and they are in the other corner.

I have a blog post on how to make mom friends and this is 450% easier if you’re outgoing and you’re already going to activities. When my kids were toddlers and babies, I would still rather drag along all of their equipment than to stay home. Library storytime? Sounds fun. I’ll pack 13 diapers and 23 snacks. Music class? You bet! Just let me fold up this swing so I can take it with and I’ll meet you there!

Advantages of having an extroverted mom

I am not only pretty outgoing, but I am also nosy. I want to know all the things. My kids know who’s in their class before the first day because I have been “networking.”

(AKA texting everyone I have ever spoken to and asked what teacher they have.) I also know for a fact that 65% of the class is buying school lunch tomorrow, so you won’t be the only one.

I can walk into any room and make conversation. I’m great at small talk. There’s a good chance I will run into someone I know at Target and stand right in front of the mayonnaise you want while we catch up. I see these things as advantages, but my kids see them more like “AHHH MOM CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK TO EVERYONE WE SEE TODAY?!” So, it’s subjective I guess.

AND WHAT IF I’M INTROVERTED?

Even though I do believe modern motherhood favors the extroverts, don’t think that I’m counting out all you introverts! There are ways we can tip the scales more in your favor. Check out my blog post “Easy Ways to Meet Mom Friends” for tips on how you can (easily, and in a non-creepy way) make friends as an adult. But here are a couple of ideas.

• When thinking about signing up for activities, pick more child-led or organized activities. It will be more comfortable socializing in a constructed way than say swimming lessons, where you just sit with the other parents and chat
• 1:1 playdates might be more of your style. Text another mom or contact her on Facebook Messenger and ask to meet at a park or over to your house. Talking with someone 1:1 can be a lot less intimidating than a group.

How does being extroverted affect my pARENTING

The noise and the disorder don’t bother me, as it might with someone who is more introverted. We often host dinners, gatherings, and it’s not unusual to set an extra place for dinner for whichever kid is over at the time. I try to make it known that “the more the merrier” is always our motto.

Growing up as an only child I craved the kind of chaos that comes from having a full house. I would get jealous hearing my friends tell stories about a fight they got into with their sister or complaining about their little brother. My daughter has a friend that is 1 of 5 children, and one day she told me that our house was “a lot.” THERE ARE 5 KIDS IN HER FAMILY. It’s to this day the best compliment I’ve ever received.

Extro, Intro, or ambi?

Are you extroverted? Introverted? Or more of a combination, the most common but not often talked about, ambivert? Let me know in the comments how it affects your parenting, and if I’m right: does modern motherhood really favor extroverts?