You Will Miss This

I was in the check-out line at Target the other day and there was a mom with her kids next to me. She had a baby in a car seat in a cart, a toddler, and a young child. She was trying to keep the baby from crying because new moms are always so conscious of the crying in public spaces. Like, the audacity of this baby to actually exist and communicate the only way they know how to. We must stop the crying at all costs so we’re not looked at as the enemy and ruiner of the grocery shopping. Who needs complete silence to grocery shop anyway? Am I ruining your concentration in the soup aisle? The mother’s toddler was crying because she dropped something and this mom was also fielding the incessant stream of questions from the young child. I picked up the item for the toddler and handed it back to her. The mom gave me a weary smile and thanked me.

I just nodded and said of course and began my own checkout, but I wanted to say so much more. My heart suddenly ached for my own children. I wanted to say “It’s hard to believe, but you will miss this” but I remember being that flustered, slightly sweaty, tired mama and thinking women sounded incredibly condescending when they said that.

I was that mom not that long ago but also a million years ago. Going to Target was THE activity for the day because it was such a production. We were all exhausted when we got home but I got to congratulate myself on a successful and productive (well, sometimes) outing.

you will miss this

“The days are long but the years are short” are never more true than in the baby and toddler years. You think your house will never be clean again. I was constantly comparing myself to other parents. I remember a playdate I had at an acquaintance’s house when our children were small. When you walked in it looked like a regular house: there was not a toy, a dirty sippy cup, or a dog bone in sight, and what’s more, everything was WHITE. I spent way too long after that thinking that she must be better at this than I am. She’s doing motherhood better. I can’t even keep up with the dishes and why are the windows streaky no matter how I clean them? No amount of Pinterest hacks can get these fingerprints off.

One day, not too far from now even though it feels like an eternity, your windows will be clean. Ok, MOSTLY clean because you’re just not that good at housekeeping. (Just me?) And you will miss the toys in the living room that randomly make noise scaring you to death.

you will miss this

All of the articles you read say to prioritize a date night but they don’t say HOW to do that, and that feels like a really important detail to leave out. The kids are up your ass all day and even sometimes at night ruining your sleep with a foot to the face. You’re so over being touched and talked to that a perfect date night feels like ordering pizza and sitting on separate ends of the couch watching tv shows with bad words, and getting 9 hours of sleep. In a row. That sounds amazing.

Now my husband and I sit and look at each other wondering what we should do. The kids are all home but they don’t need to ask us a million questions and they certainly don’t want us in their room asking them questions. They’re online with their friends, they are watching their own shows, they might even have plans somewhere else that don’t even involve us. We can watch the shows with the bad words all the time whenever we want, and trust me when I say you will miss it.

I love watching my kids grow up, becoming the awesome people they are. We can have lengthy conversations about things other than Paw Patrol, and I love to hear their thoughts on the world. We’re navigating friendships and watching them blossom in their sports and hobbies. It’s so exciting. But I miss it. I miss the chubby fingers, and the mispronounced words.

you will miss this

I miss the unrestrained boldness that only toddlers can get away with. Feel like dancing in a parking lot? Let’s do it. Song lyrics from Moana suddenly pop in your head? I think the whole airplane should hear this rendition. Feel like wearing a tutu, crown, and rain boots to the store? Why not.

RELATED BLOG POST LET GO OF YOUR PARENTING EXPECTATIONS

Too soon, they get embarrassed and are hyper-aware of what others think. In a blink of an eye, your daughter will be refusing to go on a walk with you because you’re wearing a fanny pack. (Even though it’s very functional and I did buy it in the juniors section thankyouverymuch) They’ll mumble I love you too, lips barely moving, as they get on the school bus instead of yelling it out of the windows as it pulls away.

I wanted to tell that mom all of this.

Soon you’ll be shopping by yourself because your kids are all in school. You will be able to get the coffee first and leisurely sip while you shop. You’ll actually get everything on your list because you can actually think without anyone asking you how electricity works and wanting you to guess what her favorite animal is. You’ll even have time to browse the sections that you can’t go near right now. Now you can go in the toy aisle and get that Birthday and Christmas shopping done. You go in the book section and take your time picking a good one. You actually have time to READ again. It can be wonderful. There is a huge relief when you drop all kids off at school. It’s the next natural step of parenting and you’ll love it.

But you’ll miss this.

(Follow me on Pinterest HERE)